


Ashes of the Past

by Huntress69



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Time, Implied Past Non-Con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 20:52:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress69/pseuds/Huntress69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets an eyeful at a bachelor party</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ashes of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my _Porno Movie_ challenge: _Sam or Dean are at a bachelor party when the proverbial porno flick is played...and one of the actors looks awfully familiar...._.

**Disclaimer: Yes, they are mine. Dean sleeps on my left, Sam on my right, and Castiel sleeps between my legs...happy now??**

**************

Dean Winchester had known Kevin Donahey forever it seemed. 

Back when he was 13, and on one of his first hunts with John, Kevin's family was being terrorized by a poltergeist. The two boys had bonded, and it was one of very few friendships Dean had kept up in his life. Over the years he had become part of Kevin's circle of friends, men who had accepted him with no strings attached, men who had become his friends by extension.

Now Kevin was about to enter into a commitment ceremony with his partner of 10 years, and Dean had been asked to serve as Best Man. 

Sam was happy for Dean; he'd never even known about the friendship, and it positively thrilled him that his older brother had a genuine friend, (almost) totally unrelated to hunting. 

As Dean prepared to go to the bachelor party, he glanced over at Sam, who was sitting on the bed, surfing the net. 

"You have your cell?"

"It's right here, Dean."

"Did you eat dinner?"

"Yes, Dean."

"Did you shower?"

"And brushed my teeth, Dean."

"Don't forget to lay salt lines after I leave, draw a few runes, maybe say a Latin...."

"Good-bye, Dean."

"I'm walking, 'cause I'm going to be drinking and...."

"That's good."

"You'll call if you need me."

"Dean, I'm 27 years old. I think I can spend a few hours alone in a motel room."

"I...I know, I just...."

Sam looked up and smirked. "Don't eat too much sugar, don't mix alcohols or you'll vomit, use a condom if you play with somebody and make sure you're home by midnight or I call the cops."

"Ha-ha."

"Have fun, Dean," Sam smiled at him, "and call if you want me to pick you up."

"Will do. Oh, Sammy, don't forget to...."

Sam threw a pillow at him. "GO AWAY!" 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean was having a really good time. He knew most of the guys there, including Kevin's younger brother Philip and Philip's boyfriend Eddie, and the booze was flowing like water. 

"Hey, hey," Kevin grinned, "what's a proper bachelor party without some dirty porn?" He took out a couple of DVD's. "This is good stuff."

Dean grabbed one of the cases and laughed. "Amateur shit? I thought you had better taste than that."

"Phil and Eddie made it in college. They tell me it's a sweet watch."

"It certainly is," Philip said with a grin. "Not a babe in sight, either."

"Pass the popcorn and show us the dick!" Dean made himself comfortable on the couch. 

"You're a perv, Winchester!"

"Ya got that right!" Dean did another shot of whiskey, opened a beer, and shouted, "Start the fucking movie!"

The film began, with catcalls and whistles. There was Philip, in all his glory, with another guy on the bed. The other guy was between his legs, kissing his way down Philip's body.

Dean watched the mop of brown hair going down on Philip's cock, heard the brief choking sounds of the guy sucking him off. "How the fuck...he was made for sucking cock." 

The film went on, and Dean was getting off on the other guy's body - it was perfect. As the camera panned up the body, Dean felt his dick swelling. "I would fuck him in a heartbeat!" he laughed. "Or ride him until his cock fell off!" 

"You'd ride anybody, Dean!" Kevin laughed. "We all know you're a slut!"

"Where's his face?" Dean asked, palming his own dick, which was about to bust through his pants. "I gotta see what he looks like."

"It's coming, man," Philip laughed, "at the end. We wanted to show the best part of him first."

The guy going down on Philip was magnificent, his body muscular and well-toned. And his ass was just made for fucking, so tight, just the way Dean liked them. But one thing he noticed was that aside from sucking Philip and the occasional moaning, the other guy barely moved; he just lay there while Philip, and then Eddie, each took turns pounding into him. Dean blinked as the film ended and the camera caught the guy's face. "Oh shit."

"He was an easy mark," Philip laughed. "Fucking fresh off the bus from small-town America, broke as all hell until his grant money came in."

"We gave him a couple of the right things to drink," Eddie snickered. 

"You roofied him?" Kevin asked his brother, appalled. 

"Not roofies, man." Philip told him. "We didn't want him all blank-faced. Just a little something to relax him, make him more...pliable."

"We cooked it up in a lab," Eddie added, "sort of an early version of _E_ , made him horny as hell; he couldn't have said no even if he'd wanted to."

"Did he want to?" Dean had to know. "Was he willing from the start and you just had to help him along?"

"He was kinda standoffish, a little shy, and yeah, he said no at first, even after we offered him money," Philip replied. 

"But after a couple of drinks he was stripping and begging for it."

"Why didn't he call the cops?" Dean asked, nails digging into his palms.

"He really didn't remember much," Eddie added. "We did it two more times with him and that was it."

"Yeah," Philip shrugged. "The next time we tried it, which was the fourth, his head didn't get all foggy, he told Eddie no and gave him a black eye when Eddie touched him."

That was it for Dean. He sprang to his feet and shoved Philip against the wall, choking him. "I should kill you." He squeezed harder, his eyes wild.

"Dean, stop!" Kevin tried to pull him off his brother, but Dean was immovable. "I know what he did was very wrong, but I don't understand why you...."

It took a moment, but Dean let him go, Philip sliding to the floor. "How many copies of the films he made are out there?"

Philip swallowed hard. "Just the ones I have. We found the videos cleaning out the garage and just put 'em on DVD."

"Give them all to me," Dean ordered. **"Now."**

"Why should I, you crazy bastard?" Philip challenged.

"Because," Dean grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him hard against the wall, "your small-town innocent is my baby brother."

Five minutes later, Dean was leaving the party with the videos and DVD's.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean walked back to the motel, but made a stop at the car. He opened the trunk of the Impala, knowing what he had to do with the films. He put them down while he got out the lighter fluid, and then decided to salt the damn things before he burned them. They were evil, and that's what you did to evil things. He walked around to the back of the motel, doused them and set them on fire, then put the salt and lighter fluid back in the trunk.

He was so angry over all of it, that he hadn't paid as close attention as he should have, and didn't notice he had missed one of the DVD's. It slid under the tiny crack inside the weapons compartment.

Finally calm, Dean went to the room, finding Sam asleep, buried under the blankets. He sat on the edge of Sam's bed, brushing his brother's hair from his face. 'I don't care what you did, Sammy,' he thought. 'And no matter what's happened over the years, you will always be an innocent as far as I'm concerned.' He placed a kiss to Sam's forehead and fell onto his own bed. "I love you, bro'."

"Love you, too, jerk," Sam's whispered voice said. "Did you have a good time?"

"Don't I always?"

"Something the matter, Dean?"

"No, why?"

"I don't know. You just sound...."

"Tired, Sam; tired and drunk."

"G'night, Dean."

"'Night, Sammy."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Sam got up early in the morning, a rare thing for him. He glanced over at Dean, who was out cold and had fallen asleep in his clothes. 'Looks like you had a good time, big brother,' he smiled to himself. 'And I'm going to be an awesome little brother and clean out the trunk, which is so full of shit it would take us an hour to find one gun.' 

He was quiet as he washed up and got dressed, then headed out to the car. "Good morning, Impala," he grinned. "I hope you had a good night." Sam opened the trunk. "Sorry you had to stay here last night, but we can't take a chance of Dean cracking you up." He looked inside at the mess. "Dean takes care of your outside, your inside and your engine, but he totally ignores your rear." He snickered. "Considering you're a girl, you'd think he'd pay extra close attention to your rear, like he does human girls." Sam sighed to himself. "Great, Sam, you're talking to the car. Shows how much of a social life you have." He began to take things out of the trunk, and after almost an hour, had reorganized everything. "There! Now when we need a weapon," he lifted what Dean called the _super-secret hatch_ , "we'll have them at our fingertips." His eyes caught something shiny and he realized it was a DVD. "Hmm, I wonder what we have here." Shrugging, he closed everything up, went to get coffee and returned to the room. 

Dean was still snoring, and twisted up like a pretzel.

"This is why you're sore every morning," Sam murmured. He used Dean's laptop to watch the DVD, because the player in his was busted. "Let us see what you were hiding, bro'." The movie began to play, it was grainy in color, and Sam figured it was a bootleg copy of something. He watched for a while and the picture cleaned up after a few minutes. Sam realized he was watching a porno film...a gay porno film. "Geez, no wonder you hid this, Dean. And I wonder why? Did you think I was a homophobe or something? Or that I **didn't** know you were into guys?" Sam nodded. "Of course that's what you thought. Well, little brother is neither blind nor naive." He continued to watch, but after another five minutes, his smile began to fade. There was something familiar about the movie. Had he seen it before? No, he would have remembered. He was taking a sip of his coffee when it hit him. 

Hazy memories, long ago buried, were now coming to the surface. He had wanted to say no, but his dick had said yes. 

"No, no...it can't be...I...."

Sam's eyes welled with tears, streaming down his face. 

"I thought I got rid of them all," Dean said from the other bed. 

"I was cleaning the trunk and I found it there. Where did you...Dean, did you watch this?" 

Sam was so accusing, and much as he wanted to, Dean couldn't lie. There had been too many lies between them. "Not that one, but...."

"Not **that** one? What the fuck does that mean?!" Sam wiped his tears away, but more came. "You...how c-c-could y-you?" He began to hyperventilate, gasping for air. "W-w-why d-did you...."

"Sammy, take it easy." Dean sat down next to Sam and pulled him into a hug.

"N-no! Let me go!"

The laptop was still playing the DVD, and Sam's voice came through loud and clear. _"Oh yeah, fuck me!"_

Sam pushed Dean away, picked up the laptop and smashed it into the wall. "I w-wish I were d-d-dead!" 

Dean grabbed Sam by the arms and spun him so they faced. "No, Sam, don't say that, please."

"Fuck you, Dean!" Sam shoved him away and Dean stumbled, his head slamming hard into the corner of the bureau. Without looking back, Sam fled the room quickly, not wanting to be near his brother.

Dean watched the door slam, but his vision grew blurry and he felt a wave of nausea. He brought his fingers to the side of this head, seeing the blood. "Sammy," he murmured, as he fell unconscious to the floor.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Sam was still angry two hours later when he returned to the motel. He had to talk to Dean about that movie. Sam remembered everything now - those two guys offering him money, him turning them down, figuring out sometime later they had drugged him and punching them both out. And just where had Dean gotten it, and why had he watched **any** porn film if he knew Sam was in it? He saw a man about to knock on their door and stared at him. "Something I can do for you?"

"You're Sam." The man put his hand out. "I'm Kevin Donahey."

Sam shook his hand, opting to be polite and civil; it wasn't Kevin's fault that he was angry at Dean. "Why are you here? Never mind, I know why. Can I just say that I'm happy my brother has a friend, a real friend."

"Your brother, and your father, saved my and my family's life. And he's been a good friend over the years. But last night, I thought I lost him." Kevin swallowed hard. "And maybe I have. Sam, I hope he doesn't blame me. I didn't know. I just came to tell him that I threw my brother and his friend out of my house. It's going to be a long while before I'll want to see him again."

Sam put his palm up. "I think the two of us are on different channels here. What happened last night?" He thought for a moment. "And does it have something to do with the DVD?"

"He didn't tell you." Kevin inhaled sharply. "What my brother did was inexcusable." He explained everything to Sam. " **I** am sorry that it happened."

"Dean didn't know." Sam said the words aloud; he was now ashamed that he had left the way he did. Of course there had to be some sort of logical explanation. And he hadn't even given Dean a chance to explain himself. 

"No, he didn't," Kevin said. "Dean was going to kill him, I saw it in his eyes." He saw the clear look of shock on Sam's face. "Sam, what happened?"

Now it was Sam's turn to give an explanation. "All we've been through, life and death, to Hell and back - literally - and I didn't even give him a chance to explain."

"Hell?"

"Don't ask." Sam opened the door and stepped in, not seeing Dean. "Where did he go?" He walked to the far side of the bed, and saw Dean laid out on the floor. "DEAN!" He and Kevin helped Dean off the floor, onto the bed. "What the hell happened?"

"Let me take a look, Sam." Kevin sat beside Dean, checking him over. "I'm a doctor."

Dean began to rouse, one eye cracking open. "I hit my head."

"Looks like it might be a concussion. I'd like to do a Cat Scan and...."

"No hospitals," Sam interrupted. "We can't take him...."

"We **can** , Sam." Kevin sighed. "I have privileges at Mercy and I can get him in. The FBI will never find out."

"You know."

"Of course I know," Kevin laughed. "There isn't much I don't know about the two of you. How do you think Dean has patched you up so often, hmm? He calls me at all hours of the night asking the proper treatment procedure for whatever." He called for an ambulance. "I've helped you hunters before, and I have a few names to use."

"Thanks."

"No problem, Sam."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

The next time Dean opened his eyes he saw Sam sitting beside him. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital," Sam told him. "You have a nasty bruise."

"You owe me your soul," Kevin said, as he walked in holding Dean's chart. 

"Yeah," Dean muttered, "you and everybody else."

"You get to stay for another day and enjoy the putrid food like us doctors. And since you're here, how about a lobotomy, on the house?"

"Very funny, you quack." But Dean did smile a little. "About your brother...."

"I threw him out," Kevin said seriously. "Dean, I had no idea what he did. It wouldn't have mattered whether it was Sam or some other guy."

"Then you know what happened," Dean said to Sam. "I tried to explain, but you didn't want to hear it and shoved me into the...." He stopped, face growing pale.

"I did this?" Sam asked, swallowing hard. 

"Shit happens," Dean muttered.

"Dean," Kevin had a syringe in his hand, "here's some nice Penicillin to ward off any possible infections."

Sam stopped him. "No Penicillin, he's allergic."

"I'll get something else." Kevin smiled at Dean. "And I'm going to have you up and about in time for my ceremony. It won't be a party without you hitting on all the straight women."

"Or the guys," Sam added with a small smirk. "Yes, Dean, I know. I've known for a long time."

"Then I guess I should amend that statement to, 'it won't be a party without Dean hitting on **everybody** '." Kevin laughed out loud as he left the room.

"What did you do with the other films?" Sam asked.

"I salted and burned them all." Dean turned his head away, refusing to look at his brother. "I obviously missed one though."

"You salted and burned them?"

"They were evil, Sam. What else would I do?" Dean felt his hand being squeezed and finally turned his head. "Why are you holding my hand?"

"I don't know, because I want to?" 

"I don't want you to." Dean pulled his hand away. "I just want to be left alone."

Sam silently nodded and stood up. "I, uh, you're also allergic to...."

"I know what I'm allergic to!" Dean snapped. "Just...just leave me alone."

Sam left the room, biting his lip to stave off the tears that so wanted to come. He'd stormed from the motel room and Dean had been hurt. How could he have done that? And more importantly, why had he not given Dean a chance to explain anything? Dean hated him now, he was sure of it; Dean was angry at him for what had happened all those years ago and didn't want his brother around. 

Any other time Sam would have realized that was a stupid thought, but not now. He wasn't thinking logically, he was upset and his emotions were in charge. So he did what he considered to be the best thing for the two of them.

He returned to the motel, stuffed his things into his duffel, went to the bus station and bought a ticket for the next bus leaving town. He didn't even pay attention to his destination; he just needed to be as far away from Dean as possible.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Kevin entered Dean's room and smiled. "Okay, Winchester, drugs are on the house."

"I think I love him," Dean blurted.

"Who?"

Dean blinked at him. "My brother."

"Of course you love him, Dean. I still love Philip, even though he takes after our Mother in the asshole department."

"No, no." Dean shook his head vehemently. "I love him, as in..." he waved his hands in the air, "...love," then narrowed his eyes, staring at Kevin. "What kind of drugs did you give me?"

"I didn't give you anything yet." Kevin smiled. "You **love** Sam."

"Yeah." Dean covered his eyes and shook his head. "I'm going back to Hell, I just know it."

"Back?" Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Have you been taking drugs I don't know about?"

"Long story." Dean began to get out of bed, but Kevin stopped him. "I have to tell Sam. I don't know how he'll take it, but...."

"Dean, you **need** to stay here at least until tomorrow. Look at it as a short vacation - a nice room, free food, and," Kevin held out two syringes, "free drugs."

"I'm assuming one is an antibiotic and one is...something else?"

"Normally I wouldn't give a patient with any type of head injury anything strong, but with you I'll make an exception. You have a hard head." Kevin sighed. "No permanent damage. Besides, I figure if I don't give you something to knock you out, you're going to try and release yourself in the middle of the night."

"All right." Dean held out his arm. "Make with the drugs and lemme enjoy my high."

"I am certain your brother will be back later." Kevin covered Dean with the blanket as Dean's eyes slowly drifted shut. "Now get some sleep."

"You don't think it's weird, that I want to commit incest?"

"Dean, I've been a doctor for a long time and nothing shocks me anymore; especially when it comes to the hunting community."

"You think he loves me?" Dean mumbled, half-asleep.

"As something more than a brother, I don't know," Kevin replied honestly. He was about to say something more, then noticed Dean was already out cold. "You're a strange one, Dean, and that's why I'm happy to call you friend. After all, who wants normalcy? It's highly overrated."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean was released from the hospital the next day, and Kevin drove him to the motel. They had tried to call Sam all morning but all either got was voicemail. 

Upon entering the room, Dean immediately noticed Sam's duffel was gone. "I'm going to the bus station." He took out a suit and quickly changed. "I have to find Sam."

"Why the bus station?"

"Sam hates trains, he's too broke for a plane ticket and the Impala is still here; that leaves the bus." He threw the rest of his clothes into his duffel and threw it in the Impala. "Take care of yourself, Kev. I'll call you when I find him."

"You better, Dean," Kevin smiled. "And when Len and I renew our vows, I expect you to be there."

"Sam and I will both be there." Dean shook his hand and found himself pulled into a hug. 

"I'm sorry again, Dean."

"It wasn't your fault, man," Dean said as he pulled back. He got into the Impala and rolled down the window. "Oh, and could you take care of the motel bill for me?"

"Will do. And before you leave...." Kevin held out a wad of bills for Dean and a driver's license that had Kevin's information but Dean's photo. 

"I can't take this." Dean tried to hand it back, but Kevin shook his head.

"Yeah, you can. I am a disgustingly rich doctor in a town that knows me so the ID is moot. You however," Kevin snickered, "are a poor as shit white trash idiot who has the FBI after him. And the ID may come in handy. Take it, Dean, please."

"I owe you."

"That you do, my friend," Kevin said with a shrug, giving Dean a wave as Dean peeled out of the parking lot. 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean pulled into the bus depot, putting on his most serious face as he approached the ticket window. "I'm looking for this man." He showed the clerk Sam's photo, along with his FBI ID. 

"What did he do?"

"That's not your concern. I just need to know if you saw him."

She nodded. "He bought a ticket yesterday and it was the weirdest thing. He didn't ask for a destination, just a ticket on the next bus leaving."

"Which was to where?"

She had to think for a moment. "Des Moines, I think." She checked the schedule and nodded. "Yeah, the ticket was for Des Moines."

"Des Moines?" Dean thought for a moment. "Are there any stops on the bus between here and Des Moines?"

The clerk checked the schedule. "Two. Shady Creek and Bartholomew."

"Thank you very much." He turned to leave, hearing her say, "And he seemed like such a nice guy."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

It took Dean a while to find Shady Creek on an actual map - it wasn't on MapQuest. And that concerned Dean more than a little bit, that Sam had left in such a rush he hadn't even taken his own laptop with him. 

Shady Creek was tiny and he quickly found out Sam wasn't there. Bartholomew was next, and he hoped Sam had gotten off there. While Des Moines wasn't large, it wasn't a nowheresville town either, and he might have a difficult time finding his brother. There were only two motels in Bartholomew, and he struck out at the first. The second was a dump, even by Winchester standards, which weren't very high.

"Can I help you?" the motel clerk asked, looking Dean over, his tongue running over his upper lip.

"I'm looking for him." Dean showed him Sam's photo. "Is he here?"

"What's in it for me?"

Dean held his tongue, he didn't need the guy to call the local cops. Small towns where everybody knew everybody could be a dangerous place for an outsider. He was thankful he still had the suit on and flashed the ID. "I'll ask you again, is he here?"

The clerk blinked and quickly nodded. "I don't know what he did, and I don't want no part of it. He's in Room 17."

"Thank you." Dean moved the Impala right in front of the room. "Okay, Sam, time for you and me to talk." He knocked on the door and got no answer, but somehow knew Sam was in there. Knocking harder he heard a groggy, "Just a second," and heard the footsteps moving to the door. 

The door opened slightly and all Dean thought was, 'How could he open the door without asking who it is? I thought he knew better than that.' He purposely pushed the door open and within three seconds he found himself flipped onto his back with a knee in his chest, an elbow over his throat and the barrel of a gun pressed against his forehead. "Could you let me up, Sam?"

Sam backed off, shaking his head. "Go away, Dean."

"No." Dean got a look at the room and picked up Sam's duffel. "Let's get out of here. Even I have standards."

Sam snatched the duffel from his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you?" Dean stared at him as if Sam was crazy. "There's a Motel Six a few miles down the road." He looked around the room. "Roaches wouldn't check in here."

"You made it clear how you felt, so I don't understand why you came after me."

"I did?" Dean's eyes moved everywhere in confusion, finally settling back on Sam. "When?"

"In the hospital." Sam dropped his duffel and sat in the chair. "You...you didn't want to hold my hand!"

Dean stared at Sam once again as if he was nuts. "Uh, Christo?"

"Dean!"

"Sam, there's a reason I didn't want you holding my hand, and it has nothing to do with my feelings." Dean paused. "Well, not the way you think."

"You pulled your hand away, and told me to leave you alone." Sam stood up and began to pace, running his fingers through his hair. "What other reason was there?"

Dean stepped in front of him and backed him against the wall, framed Sam's face in his palms and dragged his lips down. "This is why." The kiss was anything but chaste; Dean pretty much forced his tongue between Sam's lips.

Sam placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, trying to push him back, but Dean didn't let up for almost 30 seconds. "What was that?"

"That was a kiss, Sam." Dean smiled. "While you were holding my hand I was thinking some **very** unbrotherly thoughts and I was confused and...and...shit, Sam, I didn't know what to do." He picked up Sam's duffel again. "Now, can we please go check in somewhere that's clean?"

"We can stay here, Dean."

"Oh no we can't. Like I said, and hard as it is to believe, I have standards, and this place is below even mine." 

"It's not below mine," Sam told him.

"Bullshit," Dean laughed. "You haven't unpacked a thing, you're sleeping on top of the bed covers, in your clothes and you've got a towel covering the pillow case." He headed for the door, Sam following, knowing Dean was right. 

"Dean, what's unbrotherly?"

Dean opened the passenger side door. "Think about it, genius." He got in himself and started the engine, watching the cogs spinning in Sam's head. "Do you get it now, Sam?"

"I need a drink."

"As soon as we get to the next motel."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Dean was about to pull in to the motel when he glanced over and saw Sam had fallen asleep. He thought about the money Kevin had given him and smiled. "Maybe we'll upgrade a little." 

He kept driving until they finally hit Des Moines and he spotted a Marriott. "This'll do."

Leaving Sam in the car, he got them a room with twins, just in case Sam wanted his own bed, and carried their things up. He then went back to the car and shook Sam. 

"G'way, sleeping here."

"C'mon, Sammy, a nice clean room awaits." Sam was half-asleep, and Dean helped him walk a few feet, until Sam got a look at the hotel.

"Dean, isn't this out of our price range?"

"Courtesy of Kevin, so shut your cakehole."

"Okay." 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Sam walked into the room and practically fell on one of the beds, curling up and going back to sleep. 

Dean stripped Sam down to his boxers and got him under the blanket, and Sam barely moved. "I guess you were tired, Sammy," he said to himself. 

He washed up and got into the other bed, propping his head up in his palm, staring at Sam. He finally lay his head in the crook of his arm, and closed his eyes, attempting to get some sleep himself. He had just about drifted off when he heard a shriek from the other bed. He turned on the light, seeing Sam sitting up, staring into space, gasping for air and sweating. "Sam?"

"I was dreaming, Dean. I saw them." Sam wiped away the few tears that slid down his face. "I didn't want to do it, Dean, I swear; I couldn't say no."

"You were drugged," Dean said calmly, getting out of bed and sitting next to him. "You want me to hold you?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded, laying down and pulling Dean with him. He rested his head on Dean's chest and pulled Dean's arm around himself. 

Dean stroked Sam's hair, an old habit to calm his brother. "Sleep, Sammy, I'm here." He kissed the top of his head. "It's okay now." 

He so wanted to stay awake, but if there was one thing they both needed now, it was sleep. 

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Sam woke up to the smell of fresh coffee, pancakes and bacon. 

"Room service is pretty cool." Dean nodded to the table. "Get washed up. The food's not getting any fresher."

Sam was quick and came out, getting a good look at all the food. "Did you order everything on the menu?"

"I didn't know what you would want." Dean looked sheepish. "I just wanted us both to have something decent for a change."

"I...." Sam sat down but made no attempt to take any.

"Just eat. I'll...talk if you want, yeah, I can do talking, but," Dean gave Sam his own version of the puppy-dog eyes, "please eat something."

Sam caved and piled a plate with pancakes, eggs and bacon. "Dean, about what you said...about us...."

"What about it?"

"How can you want to do that with me? Besides the fact I'm your brother, you saw what they did to me."

"Yep, I did, and don't give a flying fuck." Dean nodded, a bit smug. "I still love you."

"You're my brother, you're supposed to love me," Sam replied, a touch of mirth in his tone.

"I love you as more than a brother, Sammy." 

"You're talking incest, Dean."

Dean chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just thinking we won't be committing incest."

"No? Then what do you call it?"

"Wincest?" Dean laughed. 

"That's terrible!" But Sam couldn't help giggling himself. 

"Made ya laugh." Dean reached out and brushed the hair from Sam's face. "Sammy, knowing you, I figure you need some time to process all this, and maybe I do too. So here's what we're gonna do. You," he pointed to Sam, "and I," he pointed to himself, "are going to spend the day at the track."

"The track?" Sam asked. 

"Horses, Sam, and there's a casino also. I can play poker with the big boys." Dean snickered. "Do you know how much money I could make?"

"Do you know how much money you could lose in a legit game?" Sam swallowed his eggs and stared at him. "And do you know how quick the FBI will find you? There are cameras in the casinos."

"Can we still watch the races?" Dean was pouting. "It'll be fun."

"That's okay with me, Dean. We'll put a hat on your head, sunglasses on your face and nobody will recognize you."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

They sat through nine races, 6 of which they lost the bets on, 3 they won, and they had broken even. The last race was starting and Sam read the racing form as they stood on line to place a bet.

"Number six, Dean."

"The odds are 16-1 and the horse's name is 'Dead Meat'."

"Will you trust me on this?"

"Okay, Sam." Dean placed a fifty dollar bet, went to the bathroom and then they sat to watch the race. The horse came in last, and he gave Sam his sternest glare. "Trust you?"

"Okay, so I was wrong." Sam smiled a little and took out another ticket. "While you were in the bathroom I placed a bet on Snicker-Snak, 42-1."

"Snicker-Snak?"

Sam shrugged. "I like _Peanuts_ and that's Charlie Brown's favorite cereal."

"Sam, Snicker-Snak won."

"Uh-huh, so let's go collect our money and go back to the hotel."

They went to the window and Dean stared as the man counted out a stack of hundreds and gave them to Sam. "How much did you bet? And where did you get the money?"

"$320, which was what you had in your wallet."

" **My** wallet?"

Sam blushed a little and handed Dean his wallet. "I picked your pocket."

"I don't know whether to bitch at you or praise you for still having the stickiest fingers around."

"If you bitch, I won't buy you a sirloin for dinner."

"I'm praising, I'm praising." Dean slipped his hand into Sam's as they headed for the exit. 

Sam froze. "Dean, you're holding my hand."

"You don't like it?" Dean pulled his hand away, scowling. 

"No, I want you to hold my hand." Sam looked a little sad and stared at his feet. "I'm sorry, this is just new to me."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry." Dean took Sam's hand in his again. "Do I still get my steak?" 

Sam squeezed his hand and kissed him on the cheek. "With loaded mashed potatoes and the beer of your choice."

**~~~~~~~~~~**

They ate dinner in the hotel and Dean had eyes only for Sam. He didn't even glance at the waitress's chest when she blatantly showed him her cleavage, instead staring at her face as he placed their orders. 

Returning to the room, Dean was the one who was nervous. "Sam, we don't have to do this, not now, not ever. Just knowing you love me is more than enough."

Sam leaned in, took a deep breath, whispered, "I want to do this," and kissed Dean on the lips. The kiss was a bit chaste and he stepped back. "I just...there was only that one time, and it's hazy and...and Dean, I'm not sure what to do."

"That's why you have me, to teach you the finer things in life." Dean dropped to his knees, undoing the first button on Sam's pants. He glanced up, his upper teeth resting on his lower lip, eyes full of questions, questions he didn't exactly know how to verbalize. 

But Sam knew the questions, and knew how to answer. He gave Dean a slight smile which grew into a grin, and nodded. 

Dean undid the second button. "Next Wal-Mart, we stop and get you pants with zippers." The third. "This is taking forever." The fourth and he nuzzled Sam's crotch, biting into the material. "Finally," he moaned as the last button was undone. "Success at last." He began to pull Sam's pants down and noticed his sneakers were still on. "God hates me."

"No he doesn't," Sam smiled and reached down, touching the spot on Dean's arm that no longer had a seared handprint. "He gave us a second chance after everything."

"If he loves me so much, why didn't he get rid of my record? The Feds are still after us."

"Because then our lives would be dull." Sam couldn't help the giggle and kicked his sneakers off. 

Dean pulled his pants down and Sam stepped out of them. The tip of Sam's dick peeked out from the waistband of his underwear. "Looks like everything is in proportion to your height." Dean gawked at the outline of Sam's dick. "And thankfully my ego is secure enough that I can admit I am **not** the biggest Winchester brother." He hooked his fingers in the boxerbriefs and pulled them down. "Definitely not." A kiss to the tip. "I've been told I'm good at this." He sucked on the head. "But I don't think I've ever truly **enjoyed** it before." He licked along the length and gripped Sam's waist. "Sammy, I love you." Dean swallowed Sam's massive dick in one motion, hands sliding around to grab his ass, squeezing the cheeks. 

Sam wasn't sure what to do; he'd had blow-jobs in the past, but never like this. He placed his hands on Dean's shoulders before he fell off his feet. 

Dean worked his dick roughly, holding it all in his mouth, fondling Sam's balls. He finally pulled back and stood. "To the bed, Sam, my knees are killing me."

Sam had no problem with that, lying down with his legs spread. His eyes didn't leave Dean's and Sam was a bit of a tease. He took his dick in his hand, stroking slow, watching Dean's eyes move down his body. "You like watching me, Dean?"

Dean pulled his shirt off. "Oh hell yeah." His own sneakers, pants and boxers flew all over the place and he went to his duffel, rummaging around. "I need this." Dean waved the tube in the air and crawled up the bed, kneeling between Sam's legs. He noticed that Sam had stopped touching himself. "Sammy, I told you, if you're not ready for this...."

"Oh, it's not that, Dean." Sam raised his arms above his head. "I keep touching myself, I'm going to come, and I want you inside me when I do."

"Damn, Sammy, you sure know the right words to use." Dean slicked himself and held Sam open, moving inside slowly, enjoying every second of it. Sam was so tight and hot and he wanted to totally enjoy that feeling. He closed his eyes and just let himself feel every sensation, head lolling back, softly moaning Sam's name. His eyes opened when he couldn't move anymore, and he looked down, nearly coming from the sight of his cock buried in Sam's ass. 

"Dean?" Sam waited for Dean's eyes to meet his. "I love you."

Dean pulled put a tiny bit and slid back in, starting a rhythm that was comfortable to them both. "It never felt this good, so right." Dean was twisting his hips, picking up the pace, and if he could just find....

"OHGODYES!"

Dean found it, and made sure to hit that same spot again.

Sam was seeing stars, but he had enough comprehension left to know that he had to do something other than just lay there. He brought his hands down, reached out and pulled at Dean's nipples, pinching them lightly. Based on the fact that Dean was thrusting harder, that was a hot spot. He was fargone and his eyes drifted shut, his nails scraping down Dean's chest, meeting each of Dean's downward movements with an upwards one. Sam began to clench his ass muscles and that was another correct thing, because Dean shouted, "SAM!" and he felt Dean's come bathing his insides. Dean hit his prostate one more time and Sam came without being touched, streams of white hot spunk covering them. 

Dean felt Sam shuddering, coming down from his orgasm, and he caressed Sam's chest, slow outward strokes, calming him down. "That was fucking amazing."

Sam smiled. "That was amazing fucking." He whimpered as Dean slid from him, feeling barren, empty. 

"We can't stay like that forever, Sam, no matter how good it feels." Dean leaned down and kissed Sam's dick. He moved back, needing to get them a wet cloth, but Sam grabbed his arm. 

"Don't go."

"Okay, Sammy, I won't." Dean grabbed the edge of the sheet and cleaned them both up, then tossed it off the bed. He lay down beside Sam and kissed him, covering them with the blanket. He held Sam in his arms, brushing his cheek with one finger. 

_"He walks in beauty, like the night_  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in his aspect and his eyes:  
Thus mellow'd to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies." 

Sam gave him another kiss. "You know Byron." 

"I, uh, I dated a college English professor once," Dean admitted, a bit sheepishly.

"You dated everybody once." Sam smirked. "I'll see your Byron and raise you a Poe."

_"Thou wouldst be loved? Then let thy heart,_  
From its present pathway part not.  
Being everything which now thou art,  
Be nothing which thou art not.  
So with the world thy gentle ways,  
Thy grace, thy more than beauty,  
Shall be an endless theme of praise,  
And love, a simple duty." 

"That was beautiful." Dean sighed. "And I had no idea Poe wrote anything but gore."

"Ah, Dean, the things I am going to teach you."

"I can't wait, Sam, I so can't wait...."

**~~~~~~~~**

** Epilogue **

Dean sat in the confessional, tapping his fingers against the seat, inhaling sharply as the other side was finally occupied. "It's about time."

"Don't push your luck. I am taking a huge risk in meeting with you."

"Just tell me it's done," Dean said. "Tell me that they paid for what they did to Sammy, for hurting him."

"They paid, but not like you asked. I am **not** going to 'fold, spindle and/or mutilate' anyone, no matter what you want."

"Then what did you do?" Dean asked, his tone clearly that of annoyance.

"I believe the word is 'impotency', which was the best I could do. I can't be your _gun-for-hire_."

"Okay." Dean stood, ready to exit the little booth. "Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome."

Dean left the booth, but turned back as the other side opened. "So, what else are you doing these days?"

"I have the most difficult job I have ever had - watching out for two brothers who have a knack for getting into mischief." With a clear smirk, Castiel vanished.

"Mischief my ass." Dean laughed as he walked toward the doors, thinking, 'Sam was right. Sometimes your prayers do get answered.' He softly hummed _I'm No Angel_ as he walked out of the church.

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> Huntress won $1700 years ago at the racetrack on a long shot named **_Snicker-Snak_** and yes, she bet on it because it was Charlie Brown's favorite cereal. Of course that was also in the days before Huntress had children and actually had money to burn.


End file.
